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- At lunch time, sit in your parked
car w/sunglasses on and point a
hair dryer at passing cars. See if
they slow down.
- Page yourself over the intercom.
Don't disguise your voice.
- Insist that your e mail address is:
Xena-Warrior-Princess@companyname.com
or Elvis-the-King@companyname.com
- Every time someone asks you to do
something, ask if they want fries
with that.
- Encourage your colleagues to join
you in a little synchronized
chair dancing.
- Put your garbage can on your desk
and label it "IN."
- Develop an unnatural fear of
staplers.
- Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3
weeks. Once everyone has gotten
over their caffeine addictions, switch
to espresso.
- In the memo field of all your
checks, write 'for sexual favors.'
- Reply to everything someone says
with, "That's what you think."
- Finish all your sentences with "In
accordance with the prophecy."
- Adjust the tint on your monitor so
that the brightness level
lights Up the entire work area. Insist
to others that you like it that
way.
- Don't use any punctuation
- As often as possible, skip rather
than walk.
- Ask people what sex they are.
Laugh hysterically after they
answer.
- Specify that your drive-through
order is "to go."
- Sing along at the opera.
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- Go to a poetry recital and ask why
the poems don't rhyme.
- Find out where your boss shops and
buy exactly the same outfits.
Wear them one day after your boss
does. (This is especially
effective if your boss is of the
opposite gender.)
- Send e-mail to the rest of the
company to tell them what you're
doing. For example, "If anyone needs
me, I'll be in the bathroom,
in Stall #3."
- Put mosquito netting around your
cubicle. Play a tape of jungle
sounds all day.
- Five days in advance, tell your
friends you can't attend their
party because you're not in the mood.
- Call the psychic hotline and don't
say anything.
- Have your coworkers address you by
your wrestling name, Rock Hard.
- When the money comes out of the
ATM, scream "I Won!", "I Won!"
"3rd time this week!!!"
- When leaving the zoo, start
running towards the parking lot,
yelling "Run for your lives, they're
loose!"
- Tell your boss, "It's not the
voices in my head that bother me,
its the voices in your head that do."
- Tell your children over dinner,
"Due to the economy, we are going
to have to let one of you go."
- Every time you see a broom, yell
"Honey, your mother is here!"
- And the final way to keep a
healthy level of insanity.... Send
this e-mail to everyone in your
address book, even if they sent
it to you or have asked you not to
send them stuff like this.
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